Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Thursday, February 9, 2012

i love to laugh

HAPPY VALENTINE’S WEEK!

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m the weirdest gal around because I thoroughly enjoy Valentine’s Day. So much so that I recognize the month of February as a month for giving love and this week especially. Valentine’s Week is lovely for me so far :)

I want to describe the kids/students/trainees I work with. This a little difficult because I fear misunderstandings or misrepresentations might happen. I’m not sure how much I can or can’t say, or even if I ‘can’ (legally) post photos of these students. The basic thing you must fully grasp before reading on is that I LOVE all of them. I’ve never worked with individuals living with disabilities in my entire life. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I have studied (only surface level) various mental disabilities or disorders and some sociology related things when it comes to disability. For my situation now, I’ve been learning through observing and repeating what I see from the employees here at SMC. After all, they’ve been working here and with these individuals for longer than I have, and they know what works. What I remember from CLU education is the psychology stuff, how to train or un-train behaviors, potential reasons for behaviors, etc. That stuff is still useful now but suddenly, in this context, it just seems unnecessary. We’re beyond the point of ‘training’ because the students I’m referring to (will for the duration of this post) from Arts and Crafts are older, independent, and full of personality. They are each so unique, but that’s not my point. ‘Training’ an individual to say “I want to eat” when they are hungry seems like common sense. Rewards and punishments are used to ‘train’ something into an individual and rewards always work better (have a longer-lasting effect) than punishments. Maybe I just think this is ‘common sense’ because I studied it for four years and love it… a lot… Regardless, we (staff) don’t spend much time ‘conditioning’ the students in Arts and Crafts.

I walk across the street to Arts and Crafts and am immediately greeted by my ‘boss’ (and friend!) there and a few of the vocational trainees. This morning greeting is dual-language and filled with happiness for a new day! The students line up and get ready to go ‘walking,’ their daily exercise. Camp counselor skills come in handy here, the staff keep the trainees in a ‘basic’ line-shape while walking, try to keep everyone at the same pace, keep everyone safe from cars and crocodiles. The first time I went walking with the vocational trainees I noticed a beautiful thing; the buddy system. It’s beautiful because two people are helping each other, potentially one is helping more than the other but society looks at them both and says “DISABLED” even though they are able! Able to help and walk and smile and just enjoy life. After walking is ‘morning talk’ where vocation kiddos split back up into their respective locations and I stick with those from Arts and Crafts to listen to what they have to say. The trainees take turns standing up and say, “good morning friends!” and then what they plan on doing for work that day. Of course, it takes more than 20 minutes to get to know all the personalities but if an observer observes this 20 minutes very carefully, they can learn a lot! The personalities shine! Shyness, leadership, ability, energy, all of it, shows right here in the morning talk.

We break and get to work. My ‘boss’ has put me in charge of a monthly order for chocolate box lids that we make/decorate. It’s a pretty detailed process but the final product doesn’t seem that big of a deal. The lids are decorated with a card with one of two traditional “Sabahan” costumes; Kadazan or Sumazau. The card itself is made from recycled paper the trainees make… just water and recycled paper with the occasional dried leaves. I sit and quietly make the box lids on my own, pasting the traditional costumes in their specific places and writing out the word “Sabah” using string made from the bark of a tree (did I mention it’s pretty detailed?). Trainees around me do various other jobs. The less-dextrous turn recycled pieces of paper into smaller pieces of paper so that they can eventually become a new and pretty piece of paper! Others are busy making paper, some help to clean the bathrooms, some help to create and/or cut out parts for the box lids, and one sometimes stands around with the broom :) All various levels of ability, but everyone is work.ing My job is these box lids but I also make sure that trainees are working by asking them to work! Sometimes (but oh so rarely) our jobs get boring or the heat gets the best of us and we are all at least a little bit bored. In these rare moments, I really don’t care how many box lids are unfinished for the upcoming month, I want to laugh with someone or hear someone laugh. Their personalities, gosh, they’re making me smile even now as I write. When one trainee laughs, usually everyone smiles, even if the laugh is a little… maniacal, or is a response to the individuals own daydreaming.

I’ve written that I’m not opposed to being the clown. We listen to a radio station at work, apparently it’s ‘retro’ music but I don’t know because the songs are Malaysian songs. Except for, about every fifth or so song is in English (from the US or the UK) and range from year 1950-2000, but I suppose you could call them retro :) I sing those songs and I dance to those songs, I seranade trainees with some of these songs and it makes us smile together.

Some of the trainees have mannerisms, you know, things they repeatedly do or say. It’s hard for me to remember a time where I wasn’t used to these mannerisms and I think that’s because no one has so much as flinched at them since I got here. There’s really no point in asking what’s wrong or what each behavior means but they’re not ignored. This is the biggest, most controversial, stressing-me-out-to-write-it topic. We make fun of the trainees and/or their behaviors sometimes. Imitations are not uncommon, neither are conversations in grunts, or questions that we already know the answer to, or unnecessary requests. Things are different in Malaysia, that’s something I’ve known since I got off the plane here. When I say “different,” I am intentionally not making a judgment about who does it right or wrong or better or worse, it’s just different. For instance, questions about how much money my father makes are not too personal, even if I just met the asker. Likewise, “mocking” trainees and students at work is not seen as hurtful. My first reaction is sometimes, “this isn’t right” but then I look at the trainee and see that they not distraught by this attention. In fact, it can be fun! I’m so worried that you, the reader, are going to think that Malaysians are rude and heartless. Please don’t think that! Let me give an example: there’s a girl that doesn’t have a very extensive vocabulary, and her family speaks Chinese at home so her malay is even less. Staff will ask her questions that we know she knows the answer to, mostly because she is the cutest darned thing. We’ll ask her father’s name and she’ll answer, and when she does she sounds so smart and sure of herself and saying her father’s name makes her smile and clap her hands! I see the love she has for her dad everyday and it is enough to keep me asking her father’s name every chance I get! Conversations with these students almost always result in smiles, even if there’s no meat in the conversation. We might laugh at someone’s water bottle or slow gait or how they straight up didn’t listen to a staff’s instructions. We smile, we laugh, and there are no hard feelings. Having these surface level and mindless conversations with the trainees is still beneficial. A lot of times, talking to a student makes sure that they’re awake and listening, it tests their social skills, their responsiveness, and helps them to practice language. Like I’ve been saying, nothing is all good or all bad, it’s just different.

I haven’t witnessed very many “incidents” here (tantrums, fits, etc.) but even when someone is crying the reaction from the staff is different from what I would typically expect given my ‘western’ education on this stuff. But, like I said, the staff have been doing this much longer than I have, they know what works and what doesn’t work. It’s also important to note that I am not confident enough to actually react to incidents; I don’t discipline, comfort or even threaten. I don’t think it will ever be my place to discipline or threaten these trainees but when I hear the tactics teachers/staff use to get trainees to calm down or do their work, I think to myself, “how would that be viewed in the United States?” And so I worry about what you’ll think of all of this, obviously. I really love the students though so if you have more questions or want to hear a story about these cuties or what keeps me laughing when I’m with them, just email me.

Thank you for reading this with an open heart and mind so that some judgment can be repressed and you can see, if nothing else, that I am learning so much. And I’m loving so much more.

Share some love :)