Hello dear readers!
The past month has been a lot about rejuvenation. I spent a magnificent 9 days with my parents vacationing in Hong Kong and then 5 days at the Tao Fong Shan Christian Centre in Hong Kong. Visiting with my parents meant a lot of things, but it was most indicative of the midpoint in my year. The mentality now might become “it’s all downhill from here,” and that might be true, but I won’t have any expectations either way. Although it is halfway “over” (it’ll continue within me from now until forever), I’m choosing to stay in denial about my year here ever having an ending. The purpose of this denial is to keep me focused on the experiences right in front of my face and not the future. I have had people ask what I’m going to do when I get home and I honestly haven’t thought about it/when I do think about it I want to vomit so I’d rather not think about it. For these next few months, I am going to treasure and hold and keep every moment (aside from those that I post in blogs or email to you) but I promise I will share them all when I do get home. That I know for sure.
Tao Fong Shan is a beautiful place on top of a hill in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a densely populated place, especially compared to Kota Kinabalu. The crowds and smog were overwhelming at times. Tao Fong Shan was (at least somewhat) removed from all that noise and so it gave me an opportunity to quiet myself and then listen. My days alone there (after my parents left) were quiet but self-indulgent. I just took care of myself through reading, napping, journaling, listening. I can listen and reflect in Kota Kinabalu too, the beach is lovely for such practices, but being in a place where the purpose is to quiet the distractions was different and hugely appreciated. I took some time to walk the labyrinth there, which is always an ineffably powerful experience for me. I ate my meals alone but in a room full of people (all speaking a different language) but even that was humbling and appreciated. It was time just for me that I didn’t even know I needed.
After those two days the rest of the YAGM Malaysia Crew joined me at Tao Fong Shan so we could all have some relaxation, meditation, training, and a renewed Malaysia visa. One of my favorite moments of our time together was when we walked the labyrinth together (but separate and at our own pace). It was a rainy few days and so the ground was a bit muddy and the clouds were thick and low. We walked anyway, in silence and with our heads bowed. The low clouds became misty sprinkles, and then drizzles, and then drip drops, and then raindrops, and then bigger raindrops until our shoulders and heads were soaked and our tears were hidden. Many of us walked barefoot and felt every pebble and puddle. Afterwards, Peter Harrits the country coordinator helped us to close the worship and said something along the lines of, “we have traveled through dirt and mud and through the baptismal waters to the heart of God. Now we travel to the heart of the world with God’s good news.” This was such a beautiful prayer for me. The symbol for Tao Fong Shan is a cross on top of a blooming lotus flower. The lotus flower carries a lot of meaning for Chinese religious culture and was adapted by the Christian Norwegians who came to Hong Kong and helped to establish the Christian centre. The lotus flower grows out of its struggle in mucky ponds so the Christians here equated this to our struggle through sin and muck and then upwards, cleansed through baptismal waters, there is new life in Christ, blossoming as a lotus flower. It’s beautiful imagery, and it is something I can relate to.
I am constantly walking through grime and sin but I am made clean again daily so that Christ’s beauty can shine through me.
This Lent I have decided to walk with Jesus through the wilderness and fast every Friday through Good Friday. People in Sabah are not surprised or unfamiliar with fasting and therefore they support me in a way I’ve never witnessed. The Muslim month of fasting and feasting is common in this country and consists of eating and drinking (I learned that water isn’t even taken during a fast) after the after-sunset prayers. My fast will also end after sundown and after prayer. It will be an opportunity to learn about another religion and grow personally. Fasting isn’t necessary to walk through the wilderness or to experience Lent but I can honestly say that it has already impacted my spiritual routine in that my moments of hunger have been moments of prayer, an undeniably good thing. Furthermore, I have made this my own personal fast complete with its own limitations and consequences. My fast isn’t a church-wide or a region-wide practice, but I hope that it is still impacting and eye opening for discovering who I am. It’ll be personally rejuvenating, but in a different way. Pray for me, thanks!
I am mindful of you all this Lent. And thank you for everything.
peace
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