dirty fingernails

NEW SCHEDULE!

Monday:

Morning- help tender cash in the canteen

Afternoon- Arts and Crafts (Simply Chocolate)

Tuesday:

Morning- Water Play OR Sand Play

Afternoon- Arts and Crafts (Simply Chocolate or afternoon activity)

Wednesday:

Morning- Messy Play

Afternoon- Arts and Crafts (Simply Chocolate)

Thursday:

Morning- Messy Play

Afternoon- Arts and Crafts (Simply Chocolate)

Friday:

Morning- help tender cash in the canteen.

Afternoon- Arts and Crafts (Simply Chocolate OR Vocational Staff meeting)

Seri Mengasih Centre has a (new-ish) pool! It’s small but about 3 times the size of a hot tub so it could easily seat 13 people and it’s at least 3 feet deep. On Tuesday mornings I am scheduled to help with the Water Play sessions. After all the classes have participated (however many weeks that takes) then we switch to Sand Play. This schedule is fairly new, new enough that I can’t tell you what Sand Play will look like. But in Water Play the students get in their water-fun clothes, sit in the pool, and have a water-related lesson from their teachers. The lessons I’ve seen so far involve animal habitats (in water or on land), sinking or floating, and small items and large items. These lessons are fun to watch. It’s obvious that some students are familiar with swimming, perhaps their parents take them to the local sports complex, while others are anxious and just plain overwhelmed. Either way, it must be difficult for students to focus on that lesson don’t you think? Having one hour a month devoted to an activity like this is probably good for a number of reasons, but I’ll have to research and look at the data for you first. My gut reaction is that learning in a new environment with new stimulus is rewarding but, if it were me, I would be too excited to sit and learn and repeat and everything these kids are asked to do. All in all, I’m sure the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Sand Play will most likely be the same idea; new environment and new stimulus with a tactile advantage, I just haven’t seen it in action yet. For my psychology capstone class I researched Sand Play therapy used for children, mostly the nonverbal youngsters, and the process of that particular avenue for therapy. I told somebody about my knowledge of sand play therapy and how excited I was to see Seri Mengasih use sand… for whatever objective they are using it and so I’m thinking that must be why I have been placed in Sand Play. Although this Sand Play isn’t therapy, I’m hoping I can contribute a little bit of something or learn a lot of something from this new thing on my schedule.

As for Messy Play, that’s neat stuff. We make goop and ask kids to rub it on to their partner’s foot or we make colorful gunk and ask kids to finger paint with it. Just today I was massaging vegetable oil into homemade play-dough to get it the perfect balance of sticky, stretchy, doughy, malleable goodness. I never thought my job would be so gooey! But it really is fun. We try to make the kids a little uncomfortable, force them to touch something maybe they don’t want to put their fingers in and then do it in a safe environment. Over time this could help with obsessions over cleanliness or routine or steering clear of the “unknown.” These sessions are also turned into lessons about colors, shapes, size, etc but we are thinking of allowing the children some extra time for ‘free play’ meaning on the days we paint the kids will have time to do whatever they want with their paint and perhaps make ART! and release energy that way. I love that. I guess I love it because I’m such a psychologist and I love these opportunities for freedom of expression (perhaps from the subconscious?) and playing with little activities that can be seriously therapeutically rewarding for some individuals. Whoa, dream big.

The rest of my days and afternoons are spent decorating the Simply Chocolate boxes. It has become my responsibility and I have started to try and teach a few students how to write out the word ‘Sabah’ with the tiny rope, but it’s a slow process. I am committed and even somewhat obsessed with these boxes. I count the completed ones multiple times a day and double-check every single piece. Now that I am being utilized elsewhere, I worry about the boxes and I almost want to request a revision of my schedule so that I can work on the boxes more. I have a theory on my desire to stick with the Simply Chocolate boxes as much as humanly possible: when your schedule changes, or responsibilities change, or your job changes in any way, it becomes new and exciting and newness equals fasterness. The few weeks I have had doing water play and messy play have gone by quickly. Faster than the months I only worked on Simply Chocolate boxes. If my job changes and the days go faster then my return date is also quickly approaching, a thing I do not want to happen. I am clinging to these boxes and not thinking about the sentence that came right before this one.

In other news: my birthday is coming up! And then it’s Holy Week! I’m slightly worried about having my birthday on the other side of the world, but I had it in Egypt so… Plus, I haven’t had a birthday at home in Colorado for four years already, this’ll be the fifth year in a row so let’s hope homesickness can stay away. Holy Week plans are pretty easy-going, much like my Christmas plans were. It will be wonderful regardless of what I’m doing or who I’m with because, hey, I’m in MALAYSIA! Haha. Have a wonderful day wherever you are!! Peace.

Yea Yeah

There are a number of words in Malay that are the same in English because the country was originally controlled by Britain, or something. Today I want to write about the Malay word “Ya” which means Yes. In English we can say yes with a few variations: yes, yeah, ya, yup, sure… Most of the ways we say ‘yes’ (or affirmative) in Malay have “yes” (ya) in them, which, to me, sounds so formal because in Miss Congeniality: “tis ‘yes’, never ‘yeah.’” But in Malay it’s the same! Anyways, when someone asks me a yes or no question and my answer is affirmative, I always feel so informal when I respond with ‘ya’ because, to me, it sounds like ‘yeah.’ I’ve been looking for a way to be more polite. So one more time let me say, because that was confusing, “ya” sounds informal (by English “yeah” standards) when its meaning is actually the most formal you can be with a resounding “yes!” Suddenly, I’m confused about how to respond to some questions.

Luckily, the funny thing about Malaysia is that yes or no questions are hard to come by. Here is a list of USA “yes or no” questions but Malaysia “sudah [already] or belum lagi [not yet]” questions:

Are you married?

Are you hungry?

Have you showered?

Have you eaten?

And Malaysia “other” questions:

Do you know how to speak Malay?

Can we leave now?

Do you understand?

Do you want to go see a movie?

Are you okay?

Is this pretty?

Saying “already” or “not yet” in response to the first set of questions just saves you from funny looks. Responding with “no” is a bit rude and might even mean you never plan on being any of those things (married, hungry, showered, and fed) which should never be the case. Persons who don’t want to get married are rare and slightly looked down on.

I say “other” questions because I could (affirmatively) respond to the second set of questions with “know how” “can” “understand” “want” “okay” and “pretty” respectively. As grammatically awkward as it is to respond to any of the above questions in the manner I have expressed here, it is super duper common and expected. In fact, “boleh” [can] is basically another form of “yes” haha.

I can answer “right, Allisun?” with a “ya” [yes] or “tidak” [no], that’s the only surefire “yes or no” question I can think of. So in Malay we can say yes with: ya, ya la, ya bha, eya, boleh, boleh la, boleh bha kalau kau [can bha if you] (a very popular SABAH ONLY phrase), sudah, sudah la, sudah bha, and, the YAGM favorite, mm.

Once again, I realize this doesn’t really benefit you, it’s just been on my mind lately and I wanted to share it with you. I wonder if my English will ever be the same when I get back to the United States..? Say ‘yes’ today and radiate! Peace to you all, miss you.

march newsletter

this was written February 26. i've copied and pasted the newsletter here for you to read in case you couldn't open your attachment of it :) the physical/pdf version is much much prettier...

Hello dear readers!

The past month has been a lot about rejuvenation. I spent a magnificent 9 days with my parents vacationing in Hong Kong and then 5 days at the Tao Fong Shan Christian Centre in Hong Kong. Visiting with my parents meant a lot of things, but it was most indicative of the midpoint in my year. The mentality now might become “it’s all downhill from here,” and that might be true, but I won’t have any expectations either way. Although it is halfway “over” (it’ll continue within me from now until forever), I’m choosing to stay in denial about my year here ever having an ending. The purpose of this denial is to keep me focused on the experiences right in front of my face and not the future. I have had people ask what I’m going to do when I get home and I honestly haven’t thought about it/when I do think about it I want to vomit so I’d rather not think about it. For these next few months, I am going to treasure and hold and keep every moment (aside from those that I post in blogs or email to you) but I promise I will share them all when I do get home. That I know for sure.

Tao Fong Shan is a beautiful place on top of a hill in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a densely populated place, especially compared to Kota Kinabalu. The crowds and smog were overwhelming at times. Tao Fong Shan was (at least somewhat) removed from all that noise and so it gave me an opportunity to quiet myself and then listen. My days alone there (after my parents left) were quiet but self-indulgent. I just took care of myself through reading, napping, journaling, listening. I can listen and reflect in Kota Kinabalu too, the beach is lovely for such practices, but being in a place where the purpose is to quiet the distractions was different and hugely appreciated. I took some time to walk the labyrinth there, which is always an ineffably powerful experience for me. I ate my meals alone but in a room full of people (all speaking a different language) but even that was humbling and appreciated. It was time just for me that I didn’t even know I needed.

After those two days the rest of the YAGM Malaysia Crew joined me at Tao Fong Shan so we could all have some relaxation, meditation, training, and a renewed Malaysia visa. One of my favorite moments of our time together was when we walked the labyrinth together (but separate and at our own pace). It was a rainy few days and so the ground was a bit muddy and the clouds were thick and low. We walked anyway, in silence and with our heads bowed. The low clouds became misty sprinkles, and then drizzles, and then drip drops, and then raindrops, and then bigger raindrops until our shoulders and heads were soaked and our tears were hidden. Many of us walked barefoot and felt every pebble and puddle. Afterwards, Peter Harrits the country coordinator helped us to close the worship and said something along the lines of, “we have traveled through dirt and mud and through the baptismal waters to the heart of God. Now we travel to the heart of the world with God’s good news.” This was such a beautiful prayer for me. The symbol for Tao Fong Shan is a cross on top of a blooming lotus flower. The lotus flower carries a lot of meaning for Chinese religious culture and was adapted by the Christian Norwegians who came to Hong Kong and helped to establish the Christian centre. The lotus flower grows out of its struggle in mucky ponds so the Christians here equated this to our struggle through sin and muck and then upwards, cleansed through baptismal waters, there is new life in Christ, blossoming as a lotus flower. It’s beautiful imagery, and it is something I can relate to.

I am constantly walking through grime and sin but I am made clean again daily so that Christ’s beauty can shine through me.

This Lent I have decided to walk with Jesus through the wilderness and fast every Friday through Good Friday. People in Sabah are not surprised or unfamiliar with fasting and therefore they support me in a way I’ve never witnessed. The Muslim month of fasting and feasting is common in this country and consists of eating and drinking (I learned that water isn’t even taken during a fast) after the after-sunset prayers. My fast will also end after sundown and after prayer. It will be an opportunity to learn about another religion and grow personally. Fasting isn’t necessary to walk through the wilderness or to experience Lent but I can honestly say that it has already impacted my spiritual routine in that my moments of hunger have been moments of prayer, an undeniably good thing. Furthermore, I have made this my own personal fast complete with its own limitations and consequences. My fast isn’t a church-wide or a region-wide practice, but I hope that it is still impacting and eye opening for discovering who I am. It’ll be personally rejuvenating, but in a different way. Pray for me, thanks!

I am mindful of you all this Lent. And thank you for everything.

peace

the same deep water as you

Hong Kong was awhile back. I wrote about it in my newsletter and posted the photos on facebook. The lotus cross symbol from the Tao Fong Shan Center in Hong Kong really stuck with me. I think it's beautiful! When Peter was here he went wandering around the beach at school and found a huge lotus pond. It's strange that I had never noticed it before because the vocational side does morning walks right next to the pond. A few weeks later I went to look at it and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Big blossoms and a lot of green. Now, more recently, I saw it and it is rundown and murky as ever. There's not a single pink flower in it and most of the water is soaked up by sand. Either way, I trust that one day beautiful flowers will grow again from that muck.

I also have seasons of muck and sin. Times of great confusion or sadness. And times of new life and blossoming. I am not always perfect, well I guess I'm never perfect. I am simultaneously saint and sinner. The opportunity to talk about theology doesn't come up very often and that is mostly because I'm afraid to share my thoughts with someone who doesn't have the same thoughts. I am a coward. Lately I have heard and read about various religions and the claim that there is one way to heaven (their own religion), all other ways send a person to hell. I just like to live in my flowery philosophy where the afterlife is paradise and beautiful and open for all people to be together in peace. I mean, heaven'll be fantastic. Life on earth is earthly and filled with human corruption but that's not all there is to life. Living here and now is comparable to paradise, right? It's not all murky and mucky. We all have daily moments of laughter, joy, flawless beauty, and peace. Little moments like these make living and serving in Malaysia totally worth it. Glimpses of what God intended us to have on earth and to be truly present here and amongst the people of the world. Right?